Abundance and American Men

A conversation with Hunter S. Biden, who’s running for Congress using the Strategic Plan to Speak with American Men. He joins us from the Humboldt National Forest.

Journalist: Welcome to This Week in Late Stage Capitalism. We’re talking about the Democratic Party’s new Abundance Agenda with one of the party’s leading young men. Supporters of the agenda say it’s the key to prosperity for the American people and to enduring power for the liberal coalition. But critics say it’s the moral equivalent of the Rockefellers and Carnegies grinding workers into dust. Let’s bring in Hunter S. Biden, who’s running for Congress using the Strategic Plan to Speak with American Men. He joins us from the Humboldt National Forest.

Watch the video version here.

Biden: Thanks for having me, dude.

Journalist: Can you explain the core principles of the Abundance Agenda and how it differs from traditional Democratic economic policies?

Biden: America is barreling down the worn-out infrastructure artery to perdition, high on the fumes of FDR’s abundance, and I know what that feels like. That gospel might be as dead as LBJ’s great society, but there’s still a wild, glittering beast in the dark heart of the Democratic Party. We’re out here tryna flip the script on this crusty old system, alright? But it’s not just a sermon; it’s a full-throttle, pedal-to-the-metal promise of a cosmic ATM with your name on it. To see it, you have to imagine a 1950’s southern community center in August, full of sweaty desperate voters waiting for salvation. Onto the stage walks an eight-foot tall man who looks like he spent the last half hour in an air-conditioned meat locker. His hair is slicked back like Gavin Newsom’s, he’s dressed like the love child of Bruce Springsteen and Lady Gaga, and he starts screaming into the mic that faith is the key to the abundance agenda. Don’t you dare whimper for salvation from federal austerity. No! You have to order up an entire block of affordable penthouses for your extended working family! Your mom’s food stamp account is fatter than a Vegas buffet and you’re not living in her basement anymore! You get an EV! You get an EV! And you get an EV, too! The federal register is a vending machine — drop in your campaign donations, punch in your prayers, and out pops prosperity like a jackpot. I’m not just half-convinced, I’m all in! And if you’re only half-terrified by the swaying congregation with their wallets open and eyes gleaming with visions of gold-plated consumer protections, then you’re not terrified enough.

Journalist: How does the Abundance Agenda propose to address issues like housing affordability and infrastructure development?

Biden: Hold on. I have to fix a broken pipe. That was easy, so let’s get real for a second. Our agenda has a pulse like a rave in a megachurch. It’s a straight-up vibe, a whole-ass movement to crank the volume on opportunity and drown out the scarcity noise. It’s not about standing quietly in the voting booth, whispering meek hallelujahs. No, this is a fist-pumping, shout-it-from-the-rooftops kind of agenda, where you demand your tax exemptions like you’re ordering drive-thru. Congressional hearings are like a Taylor Swift concert where rock-star Democrats tell you the next president will reward hustle from the bully pulpit like a trust-busting cyclone leading the rough riders up Capitol Hill. Poverty is just a lack of faith, bro. You can see the DC dollar signs from the middle of the Nevada desert. Donors are gonna toss us checks like confetti. Voters are gonna eat up the abundance message like they’re one prayer away from a mansion. The idea is that you can manifest yourself a yacht by sheer electoral grit. It’s intoxicating. Check it, bros, this Abundance Agenda’s got that energy—like, imagine a country where you ain’t stressin’ about medical bills stackin’ up like unread DMs. Education? We’re makin’ it free or damn near, so you can level up your brain without drownin’ in debt. And don’t sleep on the infrastructure game—high-speed rail, broadband that don’t lag, roads that don’t look like they survived an apocalypse. This is about stackin’ wins for the squad, not just the one percent flexin’ on Insta. We’re rewirin’ the system to juice up every community, from the block to the burbs, so everybody’s eatin’.

Journalist: Given your concerns that growth and economic opportunity could damage the environment, what is your message for working-class Americans?

Biden: Yo, I admit there’s a shadow in this neon salvation landscape, a gnawing vibe that keeps me up at night. I’m tripping over questions like what happens when the American Rescue Act doesn’t rescue anyone? When the faithful are still scraping by, but their senator has a private jet? When affordable childcare hits your wallet like a bad Venmo request? So yeah, the abundance agenda is high-stakes, but we gotta keep keep pullin’ the lever. Real talk, aight? The haters gonna say this is some pie-in-the-sky flex, but we ain’t fazed. The Abundance Agenda’s got that dawg in it—bold, brash, and built for the young guns who want a world that slaps as hard as their playlist. We’re done with the doomscroll politics, the “there’s not enough to go around” BS. Nah, we’re out here manifestin’ a future with solar farms poppin’ off in every zip code. This is our turf, our rules, our glow-up. Democrats are ridin’ for abundance, and we’re callin’ all the real ones to hop in the whip and build this vision together. Let’s get it, fam—no half-steppin’.

Journalist: That’s all the time we have, Mr. Biden. Thank you.

Biden: Hold up, let’s keep it a buck—this is about breakin’ the chains of the same old, same old. Picture this: tech hubs in every hood, not just Silicon Valley’s playground, so you can code your way to the bag from your own block. We’re pushin’ for schools that don’t just teach you to pass tests but spark that fire to create, innovate, dominate. And yo, we’re fixin’ the planet while we’re at it—green jobs that pay, not just preach, so you can stack paper while savin’ the Earth. We’re buildin’ a world where your hustle’s got room to breathe, no cap. This ain’t just talk; it’s a blueprint for a future where the grind pays off for everybody, not just the clout-chasers at the top.

Journalist: Thank you, Mr. Biden. Thank you. That’s all the time we have.